9 signs your wife doesn’t find you attractive anymore

It might not be what you think. Your wife may still find you attractive despite showing some of the so-called signs your wife doesn’t find you attractive. That is why here, we are approaching this question from a rather philosophical view—because, you see, there is something identified as the problem of appearance and reality in philosophy and it applies well to life in general. 

It might not be what it seems to be; always give it an element of doubt. 

Enough, let’s come off all the philosophy this, philosophy that things and show you to the space where we’ve made a real list of the surest signs you should look out for before saying that your wife no longer finds you attractive. 

1. She stops getting jealous 

Well, quite admittedly, I’m not sure if a woman who has once loved you can completely stop getting jealous. But here is the fact: she can set her mind to no longer bother herself (at least on the outside) about the suspicious things you do. 

I used to have a very jealous girlfriend who would always tell me, “A jealous girlfriend is better than a cheating girlfriend”. We broke up eventually but what I noticed in her before we went our separate ways was her disinterest in who I went out with. She, at one point in time, told me she wouldn’t bother me about the number of girlfriends I had (I thought she was already okay with my lifestyle, but nah, there was more to it)… All of those are now in the past but there is an actual lesson to pick from it. 

Women are more likely to become jealous over emotional attachments, HealthyWay proposed in a study. It is normal. Women and even men, especially those who are faithful to their partners, are prone to being jealous and this emanates out of possessiveness and maybe a high degree of fondness. 

A woman can stop talking to you for some time because she’s uncomfortable with not knowing who you were with on the receiver, she might get mad because she found a curlicue of lips on your shirt, and so on. All of these are fine and normal. What will be worrying and abnormal is her consistent deadly silence when she suspects you’re cheating. 

Usually, when this happens, you should sit back and think of where things have gone awry because to say that this isn’t ideal will be a deliberate understatement, as in fact it might be better put as fire on the mountain. Yes, since it could also be a sign that she’s been engaged in infidelity lately. Now, she has a better course to worry about!!

This will not be a true sign if and only if domestic violence had bolstered your last episode of suspicious act or you know this to be her nature or you have a feeling she has just done that to ensnare or play smart on you. Otherwise, taking this as a second nature all of a sudden may be worth giving a day or so thoughts until you’ve fathomed a reasonable judgement. 

2. Romance is dead 

9 signs your wife doesn't find you attractive anymore

There is a high chance that if you searched for this article yourself, the sudden change you noticed in her attitude towards your intimacy is what drove you here. Perhaps she completely stopped initiating outings and surprises. 

Once, in a discourse, a colleague on campus said it is euphemistic to tell one’s in-laws that one wants to marry their daughter. This is so because the relatively ultimate reason people come to become a couple is not something they can say straight to the face of their parents without immediately almost appearing insane. The point here is implicit but I’m glad you get it. 

So, why? Why should she all of a sudden start making it feel like it is only you who wants it? Like it is just you who feels. This can be an alarming sign. A sign that it is already past the beginning of the end of your contract. A sign that you’re no longer welcome. A sign that it is you who is forcing it. A sign that she will use is against you. 

To k!ll two birds at a time, this sign shall also entail that she becomes reluctant in the game played at dark; giving an impression that s£x, which was this thing you consensually enjoyed, is now a chore. She would make neither of you enjoy the act if at all you forced her to bed. She wouldn’t even initiate romantic touches let alone that much intimacy you seek. 

At this point, you begin to notice that the whole hot, crazy game becomes dull and all too boring almost outright. 

Read Also: How to know if you are the side chick

In fact, she wouldn’t care about any low libido issues you mention to her. You will see that unwillingness to get engaged with her. Her facial expression will be what it’s all about. You’ll know it yourself. 

3. She no longer respects you 

 signs your wife doesn't find you attractive anymore
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Have you recently begun to wonder if your wife is the same Linda or Beth you proposed to a few years ago because she’s been showing some surprisingly disrespectful acts? 

The ability to disrespect has always been there in her, she just realizes it is the right time to unleash it whenever she wants to pressure you. 

Worse, this can come in a number of subtle ways including not being carried along when she makes plans for trips, being kept alien to the core things going on in her personal and career life, etc. At its early stage, she might as well try to apologize for not keeping you informed when you eventually come to realize some things yourself. 

As a matter of fact, Elizabeth Fran in Quindlen’s Black and White wouldn’t have been able to eventually run away from her husband Bobby if she hadn’t kept secrets away from him. I’m not intending to pass any comment on her escape; the possible effects of not knowing the things going on with your wife are what I mean to emphasize. 

In any case, this is the point where you no longer really count. Love and respect work hand in hand and each bolsters the other. So, all along she had refrained from everything that could get you displeased with her until recently, why? How you feel is no longer in her best interest. 

Being repeatedly disrespected by the woman who highly regarded one initially may be symptomatic of some other underlying marital issues—especially those that began with the husband. 

Sometimes it is simply because you’ve disrespected yourself in a number of ways (in which case you should look back inward and do the needful) or because she thinks you’re unfaithful to the marriage. Or for some other reasons. 

The point is not that this is always what shows you she no longer finds you attractive; it is that this too is a common sign that may send the same message. 

4. You fight more often 

 signs your wife doesn't find you attractive anymore

Research upon research has shown that love may also exist in homes grappling with intimate violence; it is in fact usually what keeps those homes together. This is to say that fighting more often is admittedly not necessarily an indicator that your love has dwindled in her mind or that she no longer finds you attractive. It just indicates that something is amiss. 

For this study, however, it is a sign you want to look out for. This is plausible here especially as a later sign because remember that now your opinions may no longer count, she may no longer see you as reliable, and she will be inclined to pick your faults. 

Take note of how uncooperative your wife has turned recently and zero in on the cause to see for yourself whether elements of her disinterest in you or something of this sort are there. An easy way to do this may be to look out for other signs highlighted here. 

5. You no longer spend quality time together  

 signs your wife doesn't find you attractive anymore

Partners should spend quality time together especially when they are couples or even one with children at that. That’s not the point, what we are concerned with here is that any attempt from your wife to alter the quality time you enjoy together without some conspicuously tenable reasons may be an indicator that she no longer finds you attractive. 

This is to say that if you do not understand the reason your wife has not been so available for you both to have some quality time together as you do in time past, you should begin to look out for other signs highlighted here in her because this is can be an actual indicator that she’s no longer finding you attractive. 

6. You are no longer special to her

 signs your wife doesn't find you attractive anymore

From being her Superman to being a blatherskite. Now, you’re like the other guys she has always said filth about. At this point, you notice that your jokes no longer crack her ribs—it’ll feel like you’re not as good as you were. 

Similarly, this may begin to impede the success rate of your conversation. 

There will be every reason pointing to the fact that nothing about you now makes her engaged. It is often because she no longer finds you attractive. But sometimes also, this may be a result of over-familiarity and not necessarily what you might think. 

7. You have turned more into friends than lovers 

You receive hugs, pleasant words, and kissogram from friends and even outright strangers but no, all of these are not equal to the kind of intimacy that should be between married people. 

The ambiance your wife’s presence should give off in your home should be very much like that of every happy home. When she starts drawing back and makes it feel like you both are now friends from being lovers, you can start giving an element of doubt to her interest in you. 

Note, however, that becoming more like friends is not always a sign of your wife losing interest in you. It may, in fact, be the other way around if you’ve spent many years studying each other. One way to be sure you’re not confusing this for what it is not is to look out for whether she is still s£xually attracted to you. 

8. She finds specious faults in you 

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Now this is what she does to make you feel it is all your fault; she whinges. And upon close look, her complaints will be about faults that do not add up in any way. 

She may, for instance, blame her whinging on your nagging (which you wouldn’t even find) or call you a narcissist, or say that you’re too controlling. In any case, she finds faults in you more often than she used to. 

9. She compares you with others 

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You may have discovered that recently she’s started comparing your union with that of some other couples or the next-door couple that are doing better. She may also have been talking more about her previous relationships and how they’re better compared to yours. These are not just signs, they’re red flags that do not signal anything positive. Because why?

We compare people ‘when we don’t feel confident in ourselves’ or the path we’ve chosen, in the words of MollyhoStudio. If not being confident in whether you’re good enough is not the reason she compares you with others then it should be for some other reasons that are too unimportant to matter to us here. 

This is in a nutshell a typical sign and of course one of the strongest indicators that your wife no longer finds you attractive

What to do when your wife is no longer attracted to you 

1. Learn to be a better communicator 

Lack of communication can tear relationships apart and worse is the improper manner of communication—for that can result in fracas and significant quarrels preceding the separation. 

Because of this, we exhort you to learn to communicate properly; listen better (allow her to see empathy in you), and use the right words when you’re to speak. There’s a saying that words are like keys and that the right choice can open any heart. That saying is factual and you’ll soon notice it when you become a better communicator. 

2. Don’t get jealous

Learn it now and never let it slip away: your wife might be acting weird to you for several reasons including her intention to make you jealous too. Or maybe see what it feels like to be jealous. 

But whether or not this is her aim, we are suggesting to you that jealousy will only worsen the situation you’re in. Take your time to embrace equanimity and do some reflections so you can properly figure things out. You don’t want to get jealous as much as you do not want to go from fire to frypan. 

3. Work on your s£xual prowess 

Probably she’s been talking more about her previous relationships because you’ve made your s£xual practices feel too mundane to her. So we suggest that you learn some new prowess maybe with her and attempt to give her an indelible $exual experience sometime recently. 

4. Seek Counselling

Certain experts use their expertise in putting relationships back in shape and in improving the shapes of relationships that were never in good shape. 

If you have the resources to go to these people, find them and seek knowledge on the problem with your marriage and the solution(s) to the problem.  

Counsellors tend to assist you better than we’ve done in this piece because they’ll get to inquire more about you and profer more suitable solutions rather than dishing enlightenment that is a one-size-fits-all. 

5. Evaluate your role 

How have you handled your role recently? There are chances it has not been the way it should be for some time. It is important you monitor this because any of the aforementioned signs you notice in your wife may simply be her way of responding to your actions or inactions. 

So you want to evaluate your role today!! 


Invest in yourself”, I had read somewhere when researching for this writing. But what the source wrote about this isn’t the same as what came straightway to my mind upon seeing it. 

So here is my view: since our discussion is centred on attraction or attractiveness, we should not forget all that has to do with this. You definitely shouldn’t look like Lee Min-Ho or change your natural fate of look before being attractive again. Just try to work on the things you can help in the way you look (such as your haircut and befitting dress), and rejigger your attitude. As a man, you should be the best version of yourself because you’re a husband who will be a father too—and a model to his child(ren).

Read Also: Signs you’re an attractive guy 

I will spell out the fact that reflecting on your lifestyle and the actual problem your wife has with you or your union and working towards fixing the identified problem is the best thing to do if your wife no longer finds you attractive. If this process is quite intricate for you, go for option No 4: seek counseling

All the best in your marriage. Take care. 

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